[he can look, it's not the worst thing that's happened to her all day.]
Oh, right. Yeah. C'mere, hand. [she does in fact have demon claws, so she can prick him if he needs it.] I'd put some of mine, but it only opens for your own.
Can't wait for the shenanigans, then. [she figures he'll probably be roped in regardless.] We've all got the same problem, so we teamed up to get rid of it.
[she just really likes combat stuff!! and monsters, she loves beating the shit out of monsters. she would be horrible re: jujutsu because it requires like, focus and some measure of Being A Wizard, but she'd try really hard.]
Like a bunch of familiars all at once. I've got a friend who can do that. [sort of.] Wait, so it's different for everybody? He can explode things with his mind?
well, not totally on fire, it's just little licks of flame in her hair, and her chest is glowing real bright, but. she looks pissed, tail lashing back and forth.]
-- Fucking stupid, is what this is, but. Yeah, yeah, I'm -- are you? Did you get locked in here last night?
He just didn't - read to me as a traitor, at all. I talked to him, we had a long conversation. He wasn't interested in being friends but he didn't want any of us to die.
He wasn't a traitor to us, he's a traitor to the cultists that wanted to sacrifice us right off.
[she says this like this is the truth but she has no real way of knowing it is or not. she just. likes to believe the best in everybody.]
No, we don't. I'm not saying there wasn't personal reason. He was a bit of a ponce. [she liked him a lot but listen.] I just think it'd be fucking stupid to kill someone for that reason, here.
[she's got a sling that's keeping her hand above heart level because daan gave her stern looks until she did, but she seems like... okay. the usual cheer is dimmed just a bit.
still, she smiles at him when she sees him with the cows.]
I'm all good. [...] Rough weekend, yeah? But we made it.
she will pet the cow, and it does actually look like it makes her relax!]
The fact that so many of you have told me that makes my heart ache. [she says, glancing at him.] You shouldn't have to be in the middle of it. All of them failed you.
Don't say shit like that. I'm not playing that game, don't what if me. Like no, obviously I wouldn't just sacrifice civilians for anything. I can want both to be safe.
silence, for a moment, and then she turns to face him. her hand comes up, and she gently tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear.]
Is that not what I was saying? You should be able to forget about them, and let someone else take care of it. Civilians shouldn't be your responsibility.
S'not an answer one, answer two question. It's an answer three, which is you should be a civilian in the first place.
But I don't want to tie my life to someone else. I won't. If a monster decided that I was next, my partner would die too. Better to limit it to just one person, for sure.
[there's a pause, when he says this, because she really does not have a strong argument. but that's the thing about the memory he just saw. she'd come to terms with it. letting herself hope for this in particular feels like stepping on coals.
When the shadows take you, you find yourself in the hallway of a high school, with a woman explaining to you how cursed spirits are created.
When Tsukumo shares the information with you—that only non-sorcerers can create the cursed spirits that are responsible for the deaths of so many sorcerers—the thoughts that you've been having spill out without you being able to stop them.
Because you're tired, and you're alone. The life of a sorcerer is nothing but mission after mission, swallowing the disgusting taste of cursed spirits one after the other, your sanity and health both slipping piece by piece. You're tired of sacrificing yourself, and, no matter how impossible it feels, you would give anything for it to stop. ]
it's the tired nature of it - it's the wanting it to stop, it's the desperation of a kid who has been pushed to his limit and never given any sort of reprieve. her metal heart aches. it aches so bad, because this is what she was talking about before. all of the adults have failed him.
it takes a second, and then she turns to him and puts her hands gently on his face, looking at him.]
... You don't have to resort to that. It won't make you feel any better.
[ For a second, Geto looks- nervous. Because that is the ugliest part of him, and he thinks that most people here can see that he's not a normal teenager, but not that he's a not a normal teenager with genocidal thoughts.
He looks like he might flinch away from her, but holds steady. Showing guilt will only make things worse. ]
I don't think anything would. That's not what's important.
[yeah yeah she's known a lot of teenagers with genocidal thoughts, this is alright. what she wants to do so help. because it doesn't have to be that way, and because scolding or shouting at at a kid who is backed into a corner is...
well. there was a reason she was so angry about what happened to karma.]
What's important, then?
[gentle. not pushy - he doesn't have to tell her. she can probably guess. but that's not the point. she's listening.]
Killing a bunch of innocent people who have lives, and families, and favorite colors and favorite foods, memories of people they've loved - it's what Gortash did. It's what he did to me. It's what he wanted to do to the people in my home, because he thought he knew best.
There's no meaning in that. It's senseless. It's empty.
[she keeps his gaze, if he'll let her.]
It won't solve anything. You'll still be locked into a world that wants to use you until you're a husk, just in a brand new, fucked up way.
[ It's hard to empathize, and think of the non-sorcerers infesting Japan the same way he sees Karlach. She might see the way he thinks "it's not the same", even though, logically, she's right. It's an emotional reaction, born of frustration and exhaustion.
But still, he doesn't argue. He'd only sound immature, and he knows it. ]
Shit hits people differently, and it weighs differently. Doesn't matter if it's ten or two or two hundred. Especially when you've got nothing to hold onto.
[she lets go of his face finally, but she strokes his hair back carefully as she does.]
[she glances at him, pressing her arm to his, and then:]
... You know about it, yeah? [...] Lucas too, though.
[and camille and aqua and cloud and aerith and iwatooshi but like. she cannot hold all of her devastation about losing people in her two hands at once. why did i choose to play a character who cares.]
[THERE'S GRASS!!!!!!!! and it's not AWFUL and creepy, she's so excited. she grabs his hand, grinning, tail wagging. sorry, alpha week karlach is a menace.]
I mean, obviously it's going to try and fuck us up at some point, but we ought to enjoy it while we can.
You know - if one partner goes, they can stay alive if they find someone else who has been unpartnered. And I know at least one or two of those. So it's not the end.
This is all assuming we even match, anyway.
[she reaches to tap his cheek gently so he'll look at her.]
[she adjusts his shirt for him in a fussy way, and then:]
I don't want either of us to die, either. But - I said I'd help you, yeah? Protect you, make up for the shit the adults in your life didn't do for you.
But I'll do that either way, partner or no, so! Here. I'm an Oni. Up to you to tell me it matches or not, krill.
upon the two of them finding each other, a glow will suddenly emit from both of their bodies. magic will course through them, and they will both feel immediately that a wish is waiting to be granted.
they will also immediately feel their upgraded power: the ability to cast a powerful illusion that can last up to 12 hours ]
[karlach is the touchiest person in the world, so she's always really pleased when people indulge her with it... softe]
Worried, as always. [it's just a constant thing, these days.] Bit sad about Camille, but - it wasn't a shock. I'm almost more surprised she made it to today.
I saw one, I think. [a half-grin, almost wry.] People don't tell me much when it comes to strategy, so if there's more than what I'm thinking, I haven't.
We should be sharing as much as we can, strategy or otherwise.
[ smiles back at her, bumping their shoulders ]
I only saw one so far, but I know there are more. Satoru or Lavi might've found them out. [ sighs ] It's still... not a lot though. And I don't know where they're coming from.
I'll ask and see. [she bumps him back, easy, and then flops her head back against the couch.]
The one I saw - actually, I've got it, a copy. Was it this you saw?
[she has it on her, so she'll show him, if only because she's afraid to say it out loud:]
—ter what happened today, I don't think you could call this place safe by any stretch of the imagination. We've seen it react now in nearly a hostile way to our presence, and I don't know how long we can stay. Even so, the fact that it exists at all is beyond my expectation.
I suspect some of them want to reach out and make contact with the others, to ease their grief. I understand. But on the other hand, the cult realizing that this place exists—that there might be any space, no matter how small, that they cannot observe—would be catastrophic. What little safety and advantage we do have would be forfeit, and the cult is likely to wipe the slate clean and start over. And in truth, I have no proof that there's a way back.
So, is it worth hoping that they can keep a secret? Perhaps it is cruel, but I want to err on the side of caution.
caution, for the ritual is not without its troubles. The god we seek to bring into our realm might still be a fledgling. A newborn. It needs to be protected and the steps to bring it into the realm completed perfectly, else it just become just as mortal as those who brought it into the world. ]
Yeah. Not by choice, mind, but it was an adventure. I was in the Hells for ten years, and then got tossed out and had to fight my way back to the Gate.
Yeah, I did. For a good couple of days, even, it was nice. Granted, we fought like so many people, a dragon, some vampires, some cultists... while I was there, but it was good to be home, even so.
... I think that's a good wish, honestly. [it solves the problem without murdering a bazillion people] If the worm vanishes that's a pretty good indicator, yeah?
It didn't, I just mean - we talked about it. And he was upset because it didn't feel like he was doing anything to save people by doing that. If that makes sense.
But. It severed her monster connection, and he used the item he got from that place to bring her back.
she just - starts crying. just awful, exhausted, hiccupping sobs. she thuds her head against the barrier and cries, because she doesn't know what else to do. she's so tired. she's done something that is so absolutely, soul-wrenchingly out of her bounds of morality that she can't quite handle it, and she's still alive to deal with it.
being forgiven just feels a little like salt on the wound.]
It hurts to see her like this, even if he's used to it. Used to watching people be crushed under the weight of sacrifice outside of their control. But he still selfishly wants her to live.
So he just sits down next to the barrier, leaning against it.
[THE WAY I NEVER TAGGED THAT PREVIOUS STARTER NOOOOOO I SHOULD'VE
anyway, geto gets her actively looking for him, and when she finds him, she really absolutely tries her best to hug him and just. fails, because she's slightly transparent and very cold and ghosty.]
Yeah. I'm okay. My heart's still here, and I still exist.
[he can probably see there's no glow to her chest anymore, just like before, though there is a large burn scar there that wasn't there the last time he saw her.]
[ THEY VARY A LOT but Suguru is okay... His yaoi is keeping him together.
He makes a face. ]
Me and Satoru are going to have to cram for university exams as soon as we get back. [ They can't make a living as sorcerers anymore :( ] And then four more years of school, and then... I don't know.
Oooh, look at you, big brains! [genuinely, she dropped out of school so the idea of going to university is insane to her.] You've got a whole world out there to get your hands into.
You're going to be amazing, no matter what you pick. [warmly.] We've just got to make it through this. And I know we will.
[she instinctively wraps her arm around him. hugs.]
It's up to him, it's his body, and I love him whatever form he's in. But yeah, it's something he was hoping to do. Especially since my heart's back in working order.
[ Oh god, there's also the tadpole. Makes a note to ask about it. ]
Yeah. [ He says it like... "yeah, he just does whatever he wants". ] He told me that he took guardianship of a young sorcerer and his sister. So that's... something.
[ He honestly has no idea what this means but they'll figure it out. ]
Ugh, right? This one probably will be less horny. Probably.
I'd like that, though - coming to meet them. I'm sure the two of you will need a babysitter. [assigns geto their stepdad
also beiged again... no, she can get a disguise spell of some kind, it'll work]
In any case - I'd like to be a part of your life as much as you're willing to let me be. [presses a kiss to the side of his head.] I'm excited to see what you do next.
[ YEAH... I GUESS HE IS NOW RAISING TWO KIDS WITH HIS BOYFRIEND OF 1 MONTH
It's fine. Life comes at you fast.
He flusters a little a little at the kiss, and reaches out to take her hand that isn't playing with his hair, giving it a squeeze. ]
I want to hear all your bounty hunter stories too. [ He wants to see the good sides of their lives!! Not just... this place. ] I'm going to have to work harder for Boothill to like me, I guess.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weekend 0, saturday, swamp
Do you have a knife?
no subject
[blinks up at him, her tail wriggling in curiosity. she's also looking into her box.]
No. I've got claws, does that help?
no subject
Uh, I guess? Seems like we need to use blood to open these boxes up.
no subject
Oh, right. Yeah. C'mere, hand. [she does in fact have demon claws, so she can prick him if he needs it.] I'd put some of mine, but it only opens for your own.
no subject
[ maybe he should be a little scared of the giant demon, but honestly, he's kind of whatever about it
holds out a hand ]
no subject
she uses her claw to slice a bit of his hand. not deep! she doesn't want to hurt him too badly.]
There you go. Careful, don't let it get infected.
no subject
Appreciate it. I'm Geto, by the way.
[ peers at her box ]
Have you opened yours?
no subject
[her tail wriggles behind her.]
And yeah, I have. My clothes were in it. [and other things but, you know.]
no subject
he just kind of looks at her, waiting for her to continue. we all saw the profile. ]
no subject
also she goes :D at him as if to say use your words and i'll answer]
no subject
So you got a heart?
no subject
no subject
Is it metaphorical?
no subject
... Nah, it's a real heart. What, you wanna see it?
no subject
No thanks. It's just weird to carry an organ around. Since they don't last long outside the body.
no subject
no subject
[ nosy ]
no subject
Second, I'm pretty sure it originally got thrown in lava. So - extra.
no subject
[ but hm ]
That is pretty weird, but it seems like this place can bend space and time like it's nothing.
no subject
[she's experienced a bit of that.]
Why d'you say that? Getting space and time bent for you?
no subject
Feels like anything goes.
week 0, monday, pyre
So, you, Gale and Astarion know each other?
no subject
she's just wandering around uselessly, but she pauses when she sees him! roomie!! you cannot escape from her now join her teen katamari]
Yeah! Not long, but they're my boys. [uwu] I'm glad to have 'em here.
no subject
anyway, they're going to bond! except, he has some text written on the sleeve of his uniform in white: HATING HUMANS. ]
They're both... [ hm ] Pretty funny. I get a feeling it's going to be pretty rowdy in the mortuary.
no subject
the words get her to make a face, but she comes to sit down next to him anyway. she's not human so this does not affect her!
he can probably see her own words, or word, rather: AVERNUS.]
You're not wrong. I'll tell you it gets rowdy with the three of us around as is, no matter where we are. Sorry about that.
no subject
he does peek curiously at it, but her words get him to laugh ]
It's okay. Satoru is pretty rowdy too, so he'll probably fit in. [ excluding himself from the rowdiness ] How do you all know each other?
no subject
Can't wait for the shenanigans, then. [she figures he'll probably be roped in regardless.] We've all got the same problem, so we teamed up to get rid of it.
I think... two months ago or so?
no subject
[ since astarion has brought them up before ]
no subject
[gazes.]
Cults are a reoccurring problem. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me? Am I the problem?
no subject
Did you do anything to invite bad karma?
no subject
no subject
no subject
Thanks for the vote of confidence. So you know Shorty, then?
no subject
... ]
Shorty? You mean Satoru?
no subject
[ok]
no subject
he laughs ]
I bet he loves being called that.
no subject
He tried to distract me by talking about cellphones, so yeah, I think so. [she's amused.] You guys buds?
no subject
Yeah, classmates. We've known each other three years, so I know how annoying he can get.
no subject
[what kind of friendship is it if you don't constantly call each other annoying]
Just general school, yeah? You're not studying something specific?
no subject
We study jujutsu—basically how to exorcise curses. They're kind of like monsters.
no subject
Whoa. Really? What's that like? Gods, wish you could show me how it's done.
no subject
My technique is pretty simple. I can manipulate and control curses that I've defeated.
[ hmmm ]
Satoru's technique is really interesting. It relies heavily on physics, but he can mess with space, and create powerful blasts.
no subject
Like a bunch of familiars all at once. I've got a friend who can do that. [sort of.] Wait, so it's different for everybody? He can explode things with his mind?
[...]
Maybe I ought to not call him short.
no subject
he snorts ]
Yeah, your technique is determined at birth. Satoru's is one of the strongest of our generation but... Right now he's just a shrimpy teenager.
no subject
Like to point out you are also a shrimpy teenager. [she is teasing!!]
no subject
... It's hard to tell with our uniforms on, but Satoru's way shrimpier than me.
no subject
[nudges him, gently.]
But I figure you and him, if you're learning this sort of shit, you're knee deep in trouble all the time. So maybe shrimpy isn't the right word.
no subject
but also please think he is buff and cool, please please please. ]
... Yeah, I guess. [ "trouble" haha ] I want to say we're probably not normal teenagers, but it seems like everyone here has experience with trouble.
[ like you! ]
Were you able to resolve your problem before you got here?
no subject
We are a group of weirdos. Every one of you I've talked to would fit right in at the camp back in my world.
[amused!!]
Which problem, the cult? Not yet.
no subject
So you've got unfinished business.
no subject
no subject
Yeah, I was just about to graduate high school.
no subject
Okay, I know school, but what's high school? Is that related to the shit you do?
no subject
It's school for people who are 16 to 18. You graduate at 18, so I was almost done.
Then I'd be an adult, you know?
no subject
[if you make it to fifteen and you are still in school you are probably rich or a wizard or both honestly]
Is that how that works? You graduate and you're an adult? [amused.] You're still a kiddo to me.
no subject
You don't think I'm mature...?
no subject
[heehee.]
It's not an insult, soldier. You should be a kid as long as you can.
no subject
Well... I don't disagree with you. [ hmm ] You're not that much older, though.
no subject
I don't feel much older. But it's a good what, ten years?
week 0, friday, mortuary
Karlach, you okay?
no subject
well, not totally on fire, it's just little licks of flame in her hair, and her chest is glowing real bright, but. she looks pissed, tail lashing back and forth.]
-- Fucking stupid, is what this is, but. Yeah, yeah, I'm -- are you? Did you get locked in here last night?
no subject
No, in the refectory. What about you?
no subject
[rubs at her face.]
I don't get it. Is it the ritual shit? Did someone tattle on Death?
no subject
[ frustrated ]
no subject
[...]
But you'd think they wouldn't just leave him out there. They'd steal him away or some shit. It's all too showy.
no subject
no subject
no subject
It's possible, but Death is one of their own. Unless they realized he's a traitor...
[ that is what his poster said after all ]
no subject
He just didn't - read to me as a traitor, at all. I talked to him, we had a long conversation. He wasn't interested in being friends but he didn't want any of us to die.
He wasn't a traitor to us, he's a traitor to the cultists that wanted to sacrifice us right off.
[she says this like this is the truth but she has no real way of knowing it is or not. she just. likes to believe the best in everybody.]
no subject
[ well, actually, jury's out on that ]
But I do think the cultists might've realized, and taken him out. Unless... I don't know. I can't of any reason any of us would have to kill him.
no subject
I can't think of one either. I especially can't think of a reason why someone would want to kill Aventurine, he was - one of us.
no subject
We don't know what issues people might have with one another. I doubt anyone would be that stupid, but... it's not like we know each other that well.
no subject
No, we don't. I'm not saying there wasn't personal reason. He was a bit of a ponce. [she liked him a lot but listen.] I just think it'd be fucking stupid to kill someone for that reason, here.
no subject
People can be pretty stupid. [ ... ] But not that stupid. Usually. So you're right.
week 1, monday, ranch
Hey. How're you doing?
no subject
still, she smiles at him when she sees him with the cows.]
I'm all good. [...] Rough weekend, yeah? But we made it.
no subject
[ puts a hand on her arm... is she warm ]
no subject
Ah, yeah. Wish the kids hadn't had to see all that.
no subject
You mean Yuffie and Kate?
no subject
[she counts ash as a baby, but also like. some of the more innocent 17 and 18 year olds. she's like thirty, all of you are babies.]
no subject
Unfortunately, I don't know how many of those there are.
no subject
Camille. Ash, at the very least. [sigh.] Not you, but - even so. I wish it wasn't like that.
no subject
he will take her to one of the cows and urge her to pet... it is healing ]
... It's kind of weird that I don't know many adults like you. Who want to keep kids away from seeing violence.
no subject
she will pet the cow, and it does actually look like it makes her relax!]
The fact that so many of you have told me that makes my heart ache. [she says, glancing at him.] You shouldn't have to be in the middle of it. All of them failed you.
no subject
We have to save people. There's no way around it.
no subject
... S'brave of you to do it. But you shouldn't have to.
no subject
[ also starts petting the cow... good girl ]
But reality is what it is.
no subject
[GRUMBLES.]
Well, your world sucks. [so there]
no subject
No child soldiers where you come from?
no subject
no subject
no subject
Don't say shit like that. I'm not playing that game, don't what if me. Like no, obviously I wouldn't just sacrifice civilians for anything. I can want both to be safe.
no subject
I shouldn't have asked.
no subject
Alright. What was the right answer?
no subject
[ his voice is still calm, steady, he doesn't seem angry as much as resigned. ]
I know it's not right, but sometimes I wonder if it's ever possible to hear, "forget about them, and save yourself."
no subject
silence, for a moment, and then she turns to face him. her hand comes up, and she gently tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear.]
Is that not what I was saying? You should be able to forget about them, and let someone else take care of it. Civilians shouldn't be your responsibility.
S'not an answer one, answer two question. It's an answer three, which is you should be a civilian in the first place.
no subject
... I'm being way too depressing to be petting sheep.
no subject
[she gives him a little smile in return.]
Sheep are great for the depression, though. Until they start biting.
no subject
[ he raises his eyebrows ]
What'd you do to get sheep to bite you?
no subject
I stopped petting them! Wow.
no subject
w1, THURSDAY
karlach comes to find him anxiously... what's up bud.]
no subject
Hey, Karlach.
no subject
Hey, krill. [she hums, peering at him.] How are you feeling?
no subject
Krill...?
no subject
no subject
It's hard not to go along with what he wants.
no subject
But - you haven't answered my question. You don't have to talk about what happened, but I'm here, if you want.
no subject
It's hard to say anything. I feel like... I felt a lot while we were there, and now I have nothing left.
no subject
she watches him for a second, and then offers her hand? her not fucked up one.]
... You went through a bunch of shit, it looked like. That happens, at the end. Like everything is wrung out. [...] It's alright to feel like that.
no subject
Thanks, Karlach. [ Sighs a little. ] Did you see the others? We were separated for bit, so I don't know what happened to them...
no subject
Yeah, saw Todomatsu for a bit. Pickles was in a fucking state, too. You were separated?
no subject
Yeah. We were together at first, then we died I think, and then we came together to fight Delilah.
no subject
no subject
I'm alive now though.
w2, MONDAY
and a memory appears!]
no subject
His mouth presses into a thin line. ]
You're dying?
no subject
Yeah. I am. [it still feels like she's drowning, saying it out loud.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
... Yeah.
no subject
[ he's not a doctor, but. ]
no subject
Yeah, just a bit.
no subject
But a magic wish could save you.
no subject
But I don't want to tie my life to someone else. I won't. If a monster decided that I was next, my partner would die too. Better to limit it to just one person, for sure.
no subject
[ He furrows his brows. ]
But we'll all die anyway if we're sacrificed. Why not take the chance?
no subject
[there's a pause, when he says this, because she really does not have a strong argument. but that's the thing about the memory he just saw. she'd come to terms with it. letting herself hope for this in particular feels like stepping on coals.
it's scary.]
no subject
... I think it's worth trying. We don't have much to lose anyway. [ ... ] But it's your life. You get to decide what to do with it.
no subject
I don't want to die. [she says, finally, looking at him.] I really, really... don't want to die.
[in the most exhausted way possible.]
no subject
That's not asking for a lot. [ Squeezes her arm. It's warm... ] You deserve better than the last ten years of your life being... torment.
So I think you should be selfish.
no subject
Yeah. Maybe. Maybe I will be, I don't know. But thank you.
[also memshare me back]
no subject
But wow! Shadows are back...
When the shadows take you, you find yourself in the hallway of a high school, with a woman explaining to you how cursed spirits are created.
Maybe you should just get rid of all non-sorcerers.
Because you're tired, and you're alone. The life of a sorcerer is nothing but mission after mission, swallowing the disgusting taste of cursed spirits one after the other, your sanity and health both slipping piece by piece. You're tired of sacrificing yourself, and, no matter how impossible it feels, you would give anything for it to stop. ]
no subject
it's the tired nature of it - it's the wanting it to stop, it's the desperation of a kid who has been pushed to his limit and never given any sort of reprieve. her metal heart aches. it aches so bad, because this is what she was talking about before. all of the adults have failed him.
it takes a second, and then she turns to him and puts her hands gently on his face, looking at him.]
... You don't have to resort to that. It won't make you feel any better.
no subject
He looks like he might flinch away from her, but holds steady. Showing guilt will only make things worse. ]
I don't think anything would. That's not what's important.
no subject
well. there was a reason she was so angry about what happened to karma.]
What's important, then?
[gentle. not pushy - he doesn't have to tell her. she can probably guess. but that's not the point. she's listening.]
no subject
Doing something that has meaning.
[ Not a great way to describing wanting to kill people. ]
Fighting curses endlessly, and letting sorcerers die in this impossible fight can't be all there is.
no subject
[she has not let go of his face yet, sorry buddy. a pause, then maybe abruptly:]
Do you think I deserved what happened to me?
[there's a point to this,]
no subject
No.
no subject
Killing a bunch of innocent people who have lives, and families, and favorite colors and favorite foods, memories of people they've loved - it's what Gortash did. It's what he did to me. It's what he wanted to do to the people in my home, because he thought he knew best.
There's no meaning in that. It's senseless. It's empty.
[she keeps his gaze, if he'll let her.]
It won't solve anything. You'll still be locked into a world that wants to use you until you're a husk, just in a brand new, fucked up way.
no subject
But still, he doesn't argue. He'd only sound immature, and he knows it. ]
I don't think I'd succeed, anyway.
[ Resignation. ]
I know that much.
no subject
[a beat.]
But it doesn't mean your problem is unfixable.
no subject
I feel like I can't remember how to hope for better, which must seem kind of pathetic since you went suffered for ten years.
[ He's only been sad for one. ]
no subject
Shit hits people differently, and it weighs differently. Doesn't matter if it's ten or two or two hundred. Especially when you've got nothing to hold onto.
[she lets go of his face finally, but she strokes his hair back carefully as she does.]
I've got hope for you. I can lend it.
no subject
He doesn't mind the touch, eyes closing and a small smile on his face. ]
Thanks, Karlach. I hope you use some of it on yourself too.
no subject
I'll do my best. [warmly! she likes to see that smile.]
week 2, saturday
Hey. Did you get anything to eat?
no subject
she's just curled up somewhere, tail wrapped around her feet.]
Not hungry.
[just, absolutely devoid of her usual optimism. wow.]
no subject
... Would you rather be alone?
no subject
[not really. she sounds miserable.]
no subject
Is this about Mathis?
no subject
... You know about it, yeah? [...] Lucas too, though.
[and camille and aqua and cloud and aerith and iwatooshi but like. she cannot hold all of her devastation about losing people in her two hands at once. why did i choose to play a character who cares.]
no subject
It's hard enough knowing that people died the night before, but seeing them die in front of us is...
[ He trails off, remembering something. ]
It's painful.
no subject
You never really get used to it.
[...]
Are you okay? How are you doing?
no subject
[ He sounds mostly tired. ]
I'm just nervous. About whether or not we can make a plan to get out of here fast enough.
no subject
[five people a week is a lot!]
I've got to believe we can, especially if nobody else can manage. But every week we're running out of bodies.
no subject
[ ... ]
I'm really impressed, Karlach, that you haven't had your emotions beaten out of you.
no subject
It's a struggle sometimes, don't get me wrong.
no subject
[ gives her a little grin back ]
week 3, monday, academy
Geto is just looking around. ]
... This is both nice and alarming.
no subject
[THERE'S GRASS!!!!!!!! and it's not AWFUL and creepy, she's so excited. she grabs his hand, grinning, tail wagging. sorry, alpha week karlach is a menace.]
I mean, obviously it's going to try and fuck us up at some point, but we ought to enjoy it while we can.
no subject
It's much better than the last place, that's for sure.
[ Stops to smell flowers!! Wow... how peaceful. ]
no subject
Gods, yeah, I'm so glad to be away from the feeling of being watched constantly. Puts you on edge, like we haven't got enough of that.
[big, deep breath, because she likes the outside air...]
no subject
Which means bathrooms.
[ he cares about this so much ]
no subject
You hoping they've got the good hair stuff in there? [teehee]
no subject
Satoru got some toiletries for us. [ Runs a hand over his hair. ] But yeah, maybe they have something nice.
no subject
[snorts. she looks over some of the flowers absently, tail swaying back and forth.]
Hey - Suguru, I know this is a random question, but it's been on my mind. You looking for your partner at all?
no subject
... Not exactly. I want to find out who it is so that I know, but I haven't decided if I want to do anything about it.
no subject
[things have Changed a bit. sigh.]
Did you ask for a hint?
no subject
[ Turning to face her. ]
You think we're a pair?
no subject
Maybe. You think you're an unexpected troublemaker? [teasing a bit.] We could trade anyway.
no subject
[ troublemaker... wao ]
We'll be locked in if we trade monsters, though.
no subject
Well, I'd hope so.
[at the first part. and then:]
Yeah. We would be, so if you don't want it - you haven't got to. [...] But I wouldn't mind.
no subject
You changed your mind. You want to save yourself?
no subject
... Maybe, yeah. Even if it's just long enough to find a way to save all of you.
no subject
no subject
Gale's been trying, but his partner doesn't want to be found.
[a pause, and she exhales.] Both of them got very fucking mad at me at the start when I said I wouldn't.
no subject
Satoru thinks it's too risky too.
[ ... ]
But there's something worth the risk, for me. So I'll trade if you want.
no subject
This is all assuming we even match, anyway.
[she reaches to tap his cheek gently so he'll look at her.]
You want to tell me what that something is?
no subject
Wow... you're gonna move on from me that easily?
no subject
Suguru.
[flicks his nose.]
I mean I'd tell you who to go talk to so you wouldn't die with me, you little terror.
no subject
Oh, okay. I actually didn't know that. Explains whatever happened with Iwatooshi's partner, I guess.
I mean... I still don't want either of us to die, but that's good to know.
no subject
[she adjusts his shirt for him in a fussy way, and then:]
I don't want either of us to die, either. But - I said I'd help you, yeah? Protect you, make up for the shit the adults in your life didn't do for you.
But I'll do that either way, partner or no, so! Here. I'm an Oni. Up to you to tell me it matches or not, krill.
no subject
He still looks a little surprised when she just tells him, and only hesitates for a second, ]
I'm an oni too.
no subject
upon the two of them finding each other, a glow will suddenly emit from both of their bodies. magic will course through them, and they will both feel immediately that a wish is waiting to be granted.
they will also immediately feel their upgraded power: the ability to cast a powerful illusion that can last up to 12 hours ]
no subject
Probably should've asked you what your wish was going to be before I just said it, huh.
[...]
Don't make me regret it. Please. [tugs his hair.] Partner.
no subject
He's taking a second to process that when she tugs on his bangs, raising an eyebrow. ]
Having regret?
no subject
No point in that now, I guess. You're going to do what you're going to do, I just have to hope.
[have you ever thought about wishing curses don't exist instead of killing all non sorcerers, you little freak]
no subject
You don't need to worry. [ Hmm. ] This new power is going to be fun.
no subject
You already got ideas?
no subject
I should probably save it for Thursday just in case but...
no subject
no subject
no subject
Alright, I can't officially approve of this, but unofficially? That's hilarious.
week 3, thursday, academy
But he will wave when he sees Karlach. Hi. ]
no subject
He's going to be alright. [first off. and then:] How's your head?
no subject
Yeah, he's nothing if not stupidly resilient. [ (fond) ] I'm alright. A lot happened.
[ Glances at her. ]
Are you doing okay?
no subject
Worried, as always. [it's just a constant thing, these days.] Bit sad about Camille, but - it wasn't a shock. I'm almost more surprised she made it to today.
[mostly karlach seems tired.]
no subject
It's hard. Watching each other die... Killing one another. Without being able to do anything about it.
no subject
What I wouldn't fucking give to be able to do something that isn't sentencing them to the death. Just - y'know, save one person.
[...]
Be safe tonight, okay? As much as you can.
no subject
[ Quiet, pensive. ]
Yeah, I wish we had some control over... any of it. Defending ourselves against the possessed. Staying awake to help each other when we're targeted.
Or any sign on how we're going to get out of here.
no subject
[silence, for a moment.]
The Overseers told me to trust them. I'm doing my best.
no subject
They say they're making progress.
no subject
[...]
If these stupid fucking wishes could be used for this place, it'd make it easier.
no subject
[ Scrubs his face. ]
Have you been hearing about the notes, at least?
no subject
I saw one, I think. [a half-grin, almost wry.] People don't tell me much when it comes to strategy, so if there's more than what I'm thinking, I haven't.
no subject
[ smiles back at her, bumping their shoulders ]
I only saw one so far, but I know there are more. Satoru or Lavi might've found them out. [ sighs ] It's still... not a lot though. And I don't know where they're coming from.
no subject
The one I saw - actually, I've got it, a copy. Was it this you saw?
[she has it on her, so she'll show him, if only because she's afraid to say it out loud:]
no subject
No. I saw another one.
[ Wow, he conveniently has a copy too.
caution, for the ritual is not without its troubles. The god we seek to bring into our realm might still be a fledgling. A newborn. It needs to be protected and the steps to bring it into the realm completed perfectly, else it just become just as mortal as those who brought it into the world. ]
no subject
a beat, as she reads - she's a little slow, forgive her - and then she raises her eyebrow. she has a lot of thoughts about the note she's got, but.]
... Huh. That's a neat little loophole. So do we want to fuck up the ritual or make sure it goes through?
no subject
no subject
Not that I'm exactly willing to test that.
no subject
[ irritated ]
We don't know where these are coming from, so I don't know how much faith to put into them.
no subject
Think I'll put a little in, though. A little faith. Just so we can make it through.
no subject
A little, yeah. We don't have much else.
week 4, monday, doyle house
I think this is America.
no subject
What's America?
[sometimes your thoughts and words are the same]
no subject
It's a country on Earth. Camille and probably Ashlyn are from there. Tomizawa too, actually.
no subject
[which apparently is american to karlach.]
Are these the sort of names you find there, then? [looking at the list, herself...]
no subject
[ Geto just like, waves hands. ]
I've never been... actually, I've never left Japan before. This is probably the most traveling I've ever done.
no subject
Really? [tilts her head at him.] Gods, wish it was a better vacation. First place you ever visit other than home being basically the Hells...
no subject
You were adventuring all over the place before you got here, right?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
It really does seem that way, doesn't it. I don't always mind, it's nice to keep busy.
[Could use a break. I'm so tired all the time.]
no subject
I hope you get a chance to rest soon.
[ Yesterday must've been torture. ]
no subject
Thanks. [...] You too, you know?
[he's not wrong, though, she had A Time.]
no subject
He's all healed up, right? He didn't mention anything when I spoke to him.
no subject
scared the absolute shit out me. proud of him, though.]
He's alright. Tougher than he looks, and bounces back fast for a wizard.
no subject
[ Glancing at her. ]
By the way, have you made your wish yet?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Can I ask what it is?
no subject
... I guess the worm might disappear though.
no subject
... I think that's a good wish, honestly. [it solves the problem without murdering a bazillion people] If the worm vanishes that's a pretty good indicator, yeah?
You should try it.
no subject
Not yet. I might need it for something else first.
no subject
Like what?
no subject
[ He doesn't want to tell anyone, but yay, I have to make sure Satoru survives first. ]
no subject
... Mmhm. [she says, pretending like she didn't hear that. nudges him.] Alright, then.
w4, FRIDAY
i'm sorry it very clearly looks like she's been crying and she doesn't even bother hiding it.]
no subject
Karlach.
no subject
[she comes to sit next to him, pulling her knees to her chest, hiding her face. she doesn't have any hopeful words today, which. is maybe telling.]
no subject
Did you... see anything?
no subject
[she carefully rests her head against his.]
Didn't see anything at all.
no subject
[ . . . ]
It's tiring.
no subject
We've got more to do tomorrow. [...] Another day of watching all our friends lose their minds to a monster.
no subject
But I guess people will want to know what happened.
no subject
[her voice breaks a little there.]
... But yeah. Closure isn't always worth it.
no subject
True. But they might still have a while before they do again.
no subject
Sort of cruel, if you ask me.
no subject
It can be cruel.
But I'd rather that be their punishment than death.
no subject
Even if that's not what they want?
no subject
Do you know something?
no subject
no subject
no subject
But it just makes me think about the other ones that have had to.
no subject
But you just said you'd rather have Camille here. All we can do is try to make being alive less shitty for them.
no subject
Yeah. Tall fucking task.
no subject
no subject
she blinks at him.]
No? What the fuck.
no subject
Sorry, you were freaking me out a little. [ ... ] I mean, not because you're down. I wasn't trying to be insensitive.
no subject
It's - it's fine. [...] No, I just...
[deep breath.]
It's just all been on my mind. I talked to Rondo a lot about it, and... [now he's gone.]
no subject
... Was he like that, after Camille? Heavy with the guilt of it.
no subject
Mmhm. [...] He and I wanted to save everybody, but - he was struggling with the fact that he had to hurt her to do it.
no subject
no subject
But. It severed her monster connection, and he used the item he got from that place to bring her back.
no subject
There aren't any good solutions here.
no subject
[a slow exhale.]
But - we know they're out there. So not all is lost, yeah? It'll be okay.
no subject
Have you talked to any of the three about them?
no subject
week 4, saturday
no subject
the noise she makes is like a growl, and then:]
Scared.
no subject
Do you want to die?
no subject
silence, and then, staggered, stuttering:]
I don't - I don't want you to.
no subject
[ Not sure why he's saying this. ]
But I thought you wanted to. You looked so heartbroken in the memory I saw.
no subject
[she hisses at that first part. her tail lashes angrily behind her.]
You need to live. [he can probably see her digging her nails into her thigh.]
no subject
And you? You don't need to?
no subject
[hiccups.]
You saw what I did to him.
no subject
And you're going to hate yourself over the guilt of it. I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve to live.
no subject
I'm sorry.
no subject
I'm sorry, too. I wish I could help you.
no subject
You helped enough. You caught me. I wanted it.
no subject
Because you don't want to hurt anyone.
no subject
I didn't. But I did. [she says, voice cracking.] He forgave me. For it. In the end.
no subject
But he can imagine this easily. ]
Why do you think he did that?
no subject
[she interrupts herself with a hysterical little giggle, her engine flaring.]
no subject
You don't think it's because of your friendship? Because he knows how hard it is to live having killed someone?
no subject
I didn't want it!
no subject
Just looking at her. ]
Really?
no subject
she doesn't say anything.]
no subject
But he does look heartbroken for her. ]
It's okay to want to be forgiven, even if you don't think you deserve it.
[ He shakes his head. ]
I don't think you need it, because you didn't do anything wrong, but I'd forgive you too, even if they'd voted for you.
no subject
she just - starts crying. just awful, exhausted, hiccupping sobs. she thuds her head against the barrier and cries, because she doesn't know what else to do. she's so tired. she's done something that is so absolutely, soul-wrenchingly out of her bounds of morality that she can't quite handle it, and she's still alive to deal with it.
being forgiven just feels a little like salt on the wound.]
no subject
It hurts to see her like this, even if he's used to it. Used to watching people be crushed under the weight of sacrifice outside of their control. But he still selfishly wants her to live.
So he just sits down next to the barrier, leaning against it.
He doesn't say anything else. ]
w6, WEDNESDAY
anyway, geto gets her actively looking for him, and when she finds him, she really absolutely tries her best to hug him and just. fails, because she's slightly transparent and very cold and ghosty.]
no subject
Geto's own arms go out to welcome her, bracing himself for her familiar embrace but... she passes through him! He shivers. ]
... I should've expected that.
no subject
she looks a little upset, but - she rallies fast enough turning to like fake-hold onto his arm. he just gets the cold sensation, but she's trying.]
Ugh. Awful. [a beat.] Hey, though, hello. I missed you.
no subject
Are you okay?
no subject
[he can probably see there's no glow to her chest anymore, just like before, though there is a large burn scar there that wasn't there the last time he saw her.]
I'm doing a lot better than I was.
no subject
[ He smiles a little, wry. ]
Seems like it's much nicer to die than live around here.
no subject
no subject
no subject
[this is not a hint either way don't spiral over it karlach just has feelings]
... Anyway. Can't talk much about that or I'll become nonexistent again and I don't like it when that happens.
no subject
You're all just here to spend time with us then?
no subject
I guess this is a good chance to say I'm sorry face to face.
no subject
It's okay. You were doing what's best for you.
no subject
[...]
Did you get to use your wish? Or did I screw you out of that?
no subject
[ ... ]
Sorry. I'm not trying to be dismissive.
no subject
[rubs at her neck.]
I'm trying to not be overbearing. [a little joke.]
no subject
[ Stands peacefully a moment.
And then, randomly, ] You'd be a great mom if you want to have kids.
no subject
You think so? [instinctively her tail goes to jab at him, but. you know. cold.] Why d'you say that?
no subject
You're patient, and understanding. And you can wrangle me and the others pretty well.
no subject
You're not all that hard to wrangle. I just think most of you have never had someone listen to them, before.
no subject
So your kids would be lucky too.
no subject
she shoves her hands in her pockets because she looks So Touched by this and she can't hug him and she WANTS TO.]
... Thanks. [she says, a little softer.] That means a lot to me.
Guess that means you're lucky, then.
no subject
He just turns pink and looks away. ]
Guess so. [ A ] So everyone's been asking about you and Boothill?
no subject
a beat, and then she laughs.]
Have they? Am I the source of a bunch of gossip? [teasing.] Are you asking?
no subject
I saw it in the letters. [ huff huff ] You're dating, right?
no subject
Yeah, we are. Swept me off my feet, almost literally.
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ CUTE ]
no subject
anyway, she looks sort of like... shy, about it, but:]
Yeah. Now he's got me.
no subject
Have you thought about what you're going to do after this place?
no subject
The idea is, if we can, we're going to go bounty hunting. And when we're tired of that, we're going to find a place to settle.
Thought about trying to open an orphanage, maybe.
no subject
You're going to the same place?
no subject
Think so. This is all what ifs, you know.
no subject
[ Shrugs. ]
I don't want to think of a future that only extends to getting out of here.
no subject
Well, that's bracing to hear. [she's been so worried about the living mental states...] Whats your what ifs, then?
no subject
He makes a face. ]
Me and Satoru are going to have to cram for university exams as soon as we get back. [ They can't make a living as sorcerers anymore :( ] And then four more years of school, and then... I don't know.
But it's nice to have the freedom.
no subject
Oooh, look at you, big brains! [genuinely, she dropped out of school so the idea of going to university is insane to her.] You've got a whole world out there to get your hands into.
You're going to be amazing, no matter what you pick. [warmly.] We've just got to make it through this. And I know we will.
no subject
We will. [ Holding up a fist for a ghostly fist bump. ] And then we can hug all we want.
no subject
he lifts his fist, and she does her best to give him a fist bump, with a little laugh.]
You had better prepare yourself. I'm going to come at you fast when I'm solid again.
week 7, saturday
Karlach, you okay?
no subject
she's okay! she looks a little upset, but she scrubs at her face when she hears him call for her and takes a deep breath.]
Yeah. No, I'm alright, it's not the first time this place has forced me to hurt him. I'm good. [a little smile.] You?
no subject
You can be upset if you want.
no subject
I'm just glad he's still metal right now. Can't even think about what I would be feeling if his arm wasn't fucking immediately re-attachable.
no subject
[ Sitting down next to her. ]
Is he planning not to be a cyborg?
no subject
It's up to him, it's his body, and I love him whatever form he's in. But yeah, it's something he was hoping to do. Especially since my heart's back in working order.
no subject
Any idea how?
no subject
Scien's got something. I don't know exactly how it works, but I trust him, and Boots isn't opposed, so.
no subject
The reliver process? [ Lucas told him about it this isn't me info modding from space. ] That could work if it's what he wants.
[ ... ]
Invite me to your wedding if you get married.
no subject
[a beat, and then she laughs, flustered slightly.]
Oh, stop. I don't think a wedding is going to happen. [aaaaaaa] Maybe we'll have a party about it, though.
You're invited any time you want, you know. Not just for that.
no subject
[ hehe ]
Right, you all built the machine. It's going to be busy studying for exams, and Satoru has two kids now, but I'll try. Maybe once we're done cramming.
no subject
[amused, though.]
I'm going to be a little busy getting this damn tadpole out of my head, but - that won't be a problem for long. I'll be waiting.
[tugs his hair gently before going back to petting it.]
He's got two kids?
no subject
Yeah. [ He says it like... "yeah, he just does whatever he wants". ] He told me that he took guardianship of a young sorcerer and his sister. So that's... something.
[ He honestly has no idea what this means but they'll figure it out. ]
Wait, so how're you getting the tadpole out?
no subject
Guess that... follows, with all the things he's told me. Hope he's ready to take care of them, that's a huge thing. How old are they, even?
[and as for the tadpole:]
What's the term you and Satoru used? Boss battle? Boss battle. We've got to fight the big brain to kill all the babies, basically.
no subject
[ It was NOT fun fighting that horny bastard. ]
As for the kids... I think they're both in elementary school so maybe 6 or 7? I'm not sure about the sister.
You can come meet them, if you want.
[ Uh, they're going to have to get Karlach normie glamour. Or maybe people will just think she's a cosplayer? ]
no subject
I'd like that, though - coming to meet them. I'm sure the two of you will need a babysitter. [assigns geto their stepdad
also beiged again... no, she can get a disguise spell of some kind, it'll work]
In any case - I'd like to be a part of your life as much as you're willing to let me be. [presses a kiss to the side of his head.] I'm excited to see what you do next.
no subject
It's fine. Life comes at you fast.
He flusters a little a little at the kiss, and reaches out to take her hand that isn't playing with his hair, giving it a squeeze. ]
I want to hear all your bounty hunter stories too. [ He wants to see the good sides of their lives!! Not just... this place. ] I'm going to have to work harder for Boothill to like me, I guess.
no subject
she is so amused every time that he gets flustered, it's why she keeps doing it. she will hold his hand with her free one.]
Sure, yeah. There's going to be plenty, we both like action. [two adrenaline junkies, my god. a beat.] You think he doesn't like you?
no subject
I don't think he likes being teased.
no subject
He gets flustered! It's alright. He knows how much I love you, so he'll be nice.