scary: mathis

[turbulency]

Comments

[cumulative]

[he leans into him, and clings to that hand like a lifeline. maybe it is, in a way.]

Nona... was going to help, too.

[...his grip tightens, just a little.]

I don't want to see more people I care about dying, either, but... but in a place like this...

Don't go.

[turbulency]

[ It's- a little weird to be held onto in return. He's never had close friends outside of Satoru and Shoko, and the both of them would throw up before ever being so sincere.

He doesn't know if he should make promises he's not sure that he can keep anymore. ]

I don't want to.

[ He frowns, pensive. ]

Mathis, have you been looking for your pair?

[cumulative]

...yes.

[despite the risks, despite everything.]

I'd decided that... if I found them, so that I could explain myself, and they were still willing to risk being paired with someone like me... that I would be their partner.

[turbulency]

[ He looks thoughtful at that. ]

Have you found them already? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

[cumulative]

I... I have, yes.

[he works fast, when he tries to do things.]

[turbulency]

[ He frowns. ]

... I don't know if it's a good or bad thing you told me so easily. [ OH WELL ] Can you talk about what happened when you did? Your power amplifying?

[cumulative]

Why wouldn't I tell you...?

[he likes geto? of course he doesn't mind.]

Um, but I don't know whether I can say that... I've been careful, just in case. Why...?

[turbulency]

I'm just curious.

It doesn't seem like it has any effect on staying awake on Thursdays [ as far as he knows?? ] or reducing the likely hood of possessions, so I was wondering what the benefits were.

[cumulative]

Oh... weighing them against the risks-?

[turbulency]

Exactly.

[cumulative]

It's... it's hard to say... um, but I think it's probably safe to tell you that one of the overseers did encourage me to try?

[so they seemed to think it'd be worthwhile.]

[turbulency]

It seems to be the only advice they have for us.

[ Which is... frustrating. Or maybe he just isn't asking the right questions. ]

[cumulative]

Maybe, but I think that they're... doing what they can.

[sorry but he's a communal duckling and this does include war famine and pestilence.]

[turbulency]

[ Anyway, ] So is that blonde girl your girlfriend?

1/2

[cumulative]

M-my...!

[he flusters so fast help him]

She... w-we weren't exactly...

[cumulative]

[... and then once the initial surprise fades, he just seems-- subdued. a little sad.]

I- wanted to live happily with her. I truly did. But with my memories, I... the reason that I fell in love with her wasn't...

She should find someone who will truly... make her happy.

[turbulency]

[ aw... ]

You don't love her anymore?

[cumulative]

I still feel as if I do, but... but I fell for her because she was so similar to someone else I remembered, so...

[so she shouldn't love him. he might end up dying, anyway, if he can't be fixed.]

[turbulency]

[ hmmm ]

You don't want to be with her?

[cumulative]

I... I don't know.

She was in danger because of me, and I may not even live if I go back... but I still have the same feelings for her.

[turbulency]

I wouldn't discount your feelings so easily. She seems to genuinely care about you.

[ Mathis has more rizz than him... ]

But it's not bad to look around either.

[cumulative]

Look around...?

I don't know whether that's a very good idea...

[turbulency]

... Well, not here.

But you're going to have a long life ahead of you, so.

[cumulative]

Um, we-- we'll see. Maybe if I know I'll live, I'll... think about it...?

[but the important thing is for her to be happy, not him .]

[turbulency]

You should.

[ But whee, shadows are back, and Mathis going to find himself in a cold, terrible morgue.

You saw Haibara a few days ago, and now he's dead. He was one year younger than you.

Behind you, you can hear the heartbreak and betrayal in Nanami's voice. They were sent on a mission that was impossible for them to complete, because cursed spirits are plenty, but sorcerers are scarce. Nanami asks why they can't leave every battle to Satoru, as if he could be everywhere all at once. As if he deserved a life of nothing but violence.

But you can't blame him either. It's the responsibility that goes along with your power, and even if you would give anything for a different reality, you just have to bear it. ]