Yes. The person who made me-- he has someone he wants to recreate to revive them, so I'm... a test of the methods to do that. Um, I'm not that person, though.
[listen it's a lot to process for mathis too which is why he's even talking about this on week 0 he JUST learned this and then woke up in cultist simulator 2k24 he's struggling out here]
[ His brows furrow, gaze distant for a moment, before coming back to look at Mathis. ]
I don't really have an answer for you. Even if those memories were taken from someone else, they still had an impact on you, and shaped who you are. And how you perceive them now—even if it's betrayal and uncertainty—that's unique to you, and no one else.
I can tell you that everyone struggles with deciding who they are, who they want to be, and what they want.
[it always just seemed like something other people had all figured out, even before he knew his memories were false. he's always been a shut-in, kept away from others for the most part; this isn't something he's often spoken about with them, and the struggles characters in the books he read went through were often so much bigger.]
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['my cute, foolish little homunculus.' that still sits in his head.]
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[like. is that a problem for YOU.]
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It's on your arm because it bothers you, doesn't it?
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... When did you find out?
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[he is literally still in the middle of going through it.]
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So how long ago were you created? You don't have to talk about it.
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mathis nods, but-- it's fine. he's still dealing with this, here, he doesn't think he entirely minds.]
A... about a year ago.
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[ he's... BABY ]
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[he shakes his head, not quite looking at it.]
I remember living all the way up to seventeen, but that's all- it was all false.
[and so everything that made up his history, that made him-- that makes it fake too. doesn't it?]
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eventually... he just shrugs ]
The fact that you exist means you're someone. I'm pretty sure that's the only prerequisite.
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[listen it's a lot to process for mathis too which is why he's even talking about this on week 0 he JUST learned this and then woke up in cultist simulator 2k24 he's struggling out here]
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That's up to you to decide, isn't it? Being here has nothing to do with the experiment, but you still exist.
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[there's that.]
But everything that made me-- it was all from others. My memories were based on their lives. So I can't be certain of... who "I" actually am.
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[ His brows furrow, gaze distant for a moment, before coming back to look at Mathis. ]
I don't really have an answer for you. Even if those memories were taken from someone else, they still had an impact on you, and shaped who you are. And how you perceive them now—even if it's betrayal and uncertainty—that's unique to you, and no one else.
I can tell you that everyone struggles with deciding who they are, who they want to be, and what they want.
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[it always just seemed like something other people had all figured out, even before he knew his memories were false. he's always been a shut-in, kept away from others for the most part; this isn't something he's often spoken about with them, and the struggles characters in the books he read went through were often so much bigger.]
...do- you already know who you want to be?
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