[listen it's a lot to process for mathis too which is why he's even talking about this on week 0 he JUST learned this and then woke up in cultist simulator 2k24 he's struggling out here]
[ His brows furrow, gaze distant for a moment, before coming back to look at Mathis. ]
I don't really have an answer for you. Even if those memories were taken from someone else, they still had an impact on you, and shaped who you are. And how you perceive them now—even if it's betrayal and uncertainty—that's unique to you, and no one else.
I can tell you that everyone struggles with deciding who they are, who they want to be, and what they want.
[it always just seemed like something other people had all figured out, even before he knew his memories were false. he's always been a shut-in, kept away from others for the most part; this isn't something he's often spoken about with them, and the struggles characters in the books he read went through were often so much bigger.]
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eventually... he just shrugs ]
The fact that you exist means you're someone. I'm pretty sure that's the only prerequisite.
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[listen it's a lot to process for mathis too which is why he's even talking about this on week 0 he JUST learned this and then woke up in cultist simulator 2k24 he's struggling out here]
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That's up to you to decide, isn't it? Being here has nothing to do with the experiment, but you still exist.
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[there's that.]
But everything that made me-- it was all from others. My memories were based on their lives. So I can't be certain of... who "I" actually am.
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[ His brows furrow, gaze distant for a moment, before coming back to look at Mathis. ]
I don't really have an answer for you. Even if those memories were taken from someone else, they still had an impact on you, and shaped who you are. And how you perceive them now—even if it's betrayal and uncertainty—that's unique to you, and no one else.
I can tell you that everyone struggles with deciding who they are, who they want to be, and what they want.
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[it always just seemed like something other people had all figured out, even before he knew his memories were false. he's always been a shut-in, kept away from others for the most part; this isn't something he's often spoken about with them, and the struggles characters in the books he read went through were often so much bigger.]
...do- you already know who you want to be?
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... No. [ his brows draw together, voice growing distant. ] It's hard to make that decision.
And sometimes it's even harder to live with it.
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[even he doesn't know yet, but he can give that advice anyway... that really is impressive. so is the honesty in admitting to it.]
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[ he smiles, leaning back idek where they're sitting ]
If you ever want to talk about... who you think you are, you can talk to me.
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[mathis smiles a little as well, at that.]
I-I may not know much about it, but you can... speak with me as well, if you want to? I wouldn't want to-- to just burden you.
[so he will at least offer, whether geto takes it or not.]
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But okay, I'd appreciate having someone to talk to too.