scary: mathis

[turbulency]

Comments

[turbulency]

[ He sighs. ]

Sorry. We have bigger things to worry about anyway.

[cumulative]

That doesn't mean that you... can't worry about anything else.

... I'd like to see you happy. That's all.

[turbulency]

[ That gets him to smile. ]

Thanks, Mathis. I'll be okay once I cool off a little bit.

[cumulative]

I- I hope so.

['i care about you, too, so...']

But if he doesn't at least apologize, I really will be upset with him...!

[turbulency]

... You're a good friend, Mathis. [ He'll squeeze his hand. ] I know he will, I just want some space from him right now.

[ I hope things don't get awkward with Lavi either. ]

[cumulative]

...I hope so too, but I think it'll be all right. I-if things weren't awkward between us, after what I said to him last week, then...

[then surely things will be fine with them and lavi.]

[turbulency]

[ Glances at him. ]

Yeah. Are you doing okay, by the way?

[cumulative]

Yes-? Why wouldn't I be...? We're still friends, so I don't mind it.

['i wish that he were able to let anyone else in for his own sake, but-'

his thought trails off there.]

[turbulency]

[ You worry more about Lavi than yourself. ]

You're a better person than me. I'd probably obsess over it a while.

[cumulative]

['i couldn't really have expected anything else, though.'

he doesn't say it aloud, but thank you, thoughtshare.]

Um... well, we have... more to worry about.

[that's just what geto said a minute ago]

[turbulency]

You just told me that I'm still allowed to worry about other things.

[ Frowns. ]

[cumulative]

O-oh... I did...

[maybe he shouldn't have said that.]

...I wouldn't say that I've... obsessed over it at all. But even if it isn't awkward, i-it's still...

It still hurts a bit to see him smile at me, sometimes.

[turbulency]

[ His expression softens, and he judges Mathis' shoulder. ]

Yeah, it's not that different to losing someone. A type of grief over love you didn't get to have. [ He sighs. ] And it's okay if it takes time to mourn.

Even though it feels like we don't have any time at all here.

[cumulative]

I-it really does. That's a part of... why I said anything, to begin with.

[there's never any telling how much time there is.]

[turbulency]

It makes sense.

[ also he nudging his shoulder not judging i really need to sleep ]

I get why you wouldn't want to show it in front of him too, but if you want to talk about it or just let yourself feel sad, I can sit with you.

[cumulative]

...I'd appreciate that.

[he admits quietly, his eye downcast.]

I don't-- I don't want to make him feel badly for it, but I'm not sure there's anyone else who I could...

[after a pause, he finishes:]

There are things that we share that I don't... have in common with very many people here.

[turbulency]

Really?

[ You're both carrying other people's memories? ]

Like what...?