scary: laudna

[turbulency]

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week 4, saturday

[turbulency]

[ this is the void but he got the heck away from the pyre.

he's probably sitting somewhere with his head in his hands. ]

[undread]

[she'll approach him, then.]

Geto...

[turbulency]

[ He'll look up, glancing at her.

This thoughts are kind of jumbled, but she can hear liar, she lied, can't trust. ]

Laudna. [ ... ] How...'re you doing?

[undread]

[I didn't lie.

That's her immediate, defensive, frightened thought. Before, after a moment, she considers if maybe that wasn't a thought specifically about her. Probably not!]

Um.

[turbulency]

[ His eyes widen at the thought, a little surprised. ]

What...?

[undread]

Sorry.

[she hunches her shoulders slightly.]

I don't like it when people don't believe me. But I realized you probably weren't thinking about me. It was her, wasn't it?

[turbulency]

Yeah. It was about Karlach.

[ He does look at her curiously, though he doesn't ask yet. ]

But it's not fair to call her one either.

[undread]

I understand, I think.

[she actually does.]

It's so hard to trust in people. It hurts to make a mistake so much. Even if I know it wasn't in their control, I can't simply forget those feelings.

[turbulency]

It's not right, though.

[ Guilt, there. ]

[undread]

I think, this week aside, we ought to at least grant ourselves the right to be irrational inside our own thoughts.

[turbulency]

[ He rubs his eyes. ]

Laudna... You're really kind.

[undread]

Am I?

[a nervous smile.]

I don't know. [but she does like the people she likes, and she does like geto.]

[turbulency]

You don't think so?

[undread]

Well. Maybe I can be, if I want to be. And I do want to be.

[turbulency]

[ He thinks about it. ]

Isn't that true of everyone? You have to want to be, and try to be.

[undread]

I think it comes easily to some people. Like breathing.

[but that's just her opinion.]

Everyone else has to try hard.

[turbulency]

I guess I wouldn't know. [ He's not very kind naturally. ] But thank you, for trying for me.

[ ... ]

Laudna, have you found your partner?

[undread]

Thank you for trying for me, as well.

[because he has been, to her. at the question, though - ]

Yes. Not my original partner - she died. But I've found someone else.

[turbulency]

[ I'm glad. ]

Are you going to wish away Delilah?

[undread]

[she looks nervous when he says that. lacing her fingers together. she saw her again so recently, even if it was just a hallucination; it feels dangerous to admit to it.

I'm going to try.]

[turbulency]

You should. [ He looks a little amused. ] A lot of people seem hesitant to use their wishes.

[undread]

I want to. I decided to.

[I'm a little scared it won't work.]

[turbulency]

Yeah. It's scary when it's something you want so badly.

[ Glancing away. ]

Sometimes having hope leaves you worse than you were before.

[undread]

[oh. she nods, a little surprised at how instantly he understood.]