[ Does he feel remorseful? No. He thinks Suguru should take another beating, honestly. Only from him, of course.
Resentment paints him in opaque streaks and desperately overshadows the sorrow, but his expression smooths over when he has some handle of himself. There's still questioning, unease, and everything else he subconsciously masks, but he doesn't take it out on Suguru again. Instead, he kicks the floor with his stupid white flats and finally averts his gaze. This didn't make him feel any better... And now Suguru ends their conversation ever so easily, much like before, leaving him without anything to say.
It never stopped him, but the growing pit in his stomach is gross and he doesn't feel like talking for the moment. The silence stretches, interrupted by Satoru periodically kicking the dirt like these haunted grounds are deserving of every single curse.
Suguru is free to leave him!! Except, unfortunately, Satoru will trail after him without care to be discreet. ]
[ Satoru trails after him when he walks off, which is both surprising and isn't. They've had a million arguments at this point, and sometimes those arguments stretch days where they both make a show of avoiding one another, and sometimes they last hours and they both just power through the sulky, indignant period until something else comes along to catch their attention.
The problem is that he doesn't know why he's so angry—maybe angrier than he's ever seen, at least directed at him—and for some reason thinking about it just leaves him with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Like he doesn't want to know.
So he doesn't bring it up. Instead, he walks over to the board with all their profiles, and looks through them. ]
It looks like we're the only ones here from Jujutsu Tech.
[ He can usually trust Satoru to focus up on a mission, even if he's mad. ]
[ They really just are children since Satoru will continue to sulk as he follows after him, like a scolded child even though he wasn't scolded at all. Without any pockets, he has to cross his arms while he sometimes glares at Suguru's silhouette, then shifting his attention to absolutely nothing once in a while.
He's using so many braincells to understand what this situation is—what they are... Suguru answers for them and it stirs unrest, despite how comforting it is. It pisses him off for some reason. ]
Yeah... I don't feel or see cursed energy.
[ And that's even more unnerving, but put aside because of Suguru's existence. ]
Unfortunately, Suguru is not as soft as me. He thinks that's the most unsettling part of it—the fact that he can't, for the first time in years, feel the amalgamation of all the cursed energy stored inside him, and that all he gets of Satoru is what he can see and hear, because he can no longer feel the cursed energy that he'd grown so accustomed to.
It's weird, and kind of scary because he's defenseless, but also...
Well, he's more concerned about Satoru, glancing over at him thoughtfully. ]
It's the same with me. I can't summon any of my curses either.
[ So it's not just that they're senses are dulled, but their powers are entirely halted. ]
Have you heard of any curse that could do something like this?
Aside from weapons that can negate techniques? A field that does the same thing would need a bunch of anchors... And also cursed energy.
[ Satoru has never been... Unlike himself, in this way, without the very thing that defines him, but it's in the back of his mind especially when Suguru looks at him like that. It threatens his heart to stop beating, veins to go icy cold, and his shoulders square in defense. He's steeled, for what? He doesn't know.
His footsteps come to a halt and they're back to the problem. ]
[ Satoru does feel very naked right now without his cursed techniques, but the only inconvenience that burdens him is not being able to compare the Suguru in front of him to the one he remembers. Their signature would be the same, like a unique scent...
Is this how regular everyday people see the world? There's so much they don't understand, but he supposes that he doesn't understand Suguru right now. There's an additional pause despite the wide stance, double-checking his sight. Nothing. ]
What's up with you?
[ Says the guy that kicked someone down and kicked them while they were down... Just overall, the actual problem and the one acting up. However, there's something wrong with Suguru, not him. ]
[ Satoru is staring at him like he can't figure him out, which is both new and unnerving. It's not a stare that he'd been on the receiving end since they'd first met, and it feels out of place, but he supposes it's been a long time since they'd actually spent any time together.
He shifts, uncomfortable. ]
I should be the one asking you that. You're acting like I'm the one who got us stuck here.
[ And even then, would Satoru be that furious with him? ]
[ Suguru could have gotten them stuck in the very pits of the unforgivable afterlife and Satoru would have accepted it with some complaints—he would have followed him to those depths if he held a hand out to him. Ultimately, it wouldn't coax anger of this level from him. They both know that and it only cements the swelling uncertainty.
The distance in between has no name, no label, but Satoru won't suffer to live quietly like this. Despite that, they stand far apart... And he doesn't close the gap. ]
[ His response is immediate, voice calm, but Satoru can probably pick up on the underlying frustration, ] Because I don't know what you're talking about.
[ If Satoru was upset before they arrived here, he would've noticed. Mostly because he rarely makes any effort to hide his tantrums, and secondly because Suguru's gotten pretty good at picking up on his moods.
At least he had. It never really felt like things settled back into normalcy after Satoru killed Toji.
His brows furrow, making a guess, even though he's pretty sure that he's wrong. ]
Haibara and Nanami were assigned a mission that should have been at their level, only for it to be anything but the case... He remembers the day Haibara passed, the look on Nanami's face the next day as the only second year left, and some passing word, but this is the life of jujutsu sorcerers. It has happened before, it may happen again. There's no rage, instead a newfound frustration. Below him at the peak of society, how equipped is everyone else to run this unending marathon?
Especially the man in front of him, looking a bit misplaced yet... Not quite lost. Satoru isn't sure. The distance between, he broaches it with a step. ]
So you hit your head so hard and got amnesia or something. I thought that's impossible with how thick your skull is.
[ His jaw tightens at that response. It's not wrong. What could he have done? He can't do every mission himself; he's not as strong as Satoru.
But how long will he keep using that excuse? He can't keep watching sorcerers die, put up his hands, and say there's nothing I can do when there is something—
He exhales, still frowning, but not budging from his spot. ]
I don't have amnesia. [ Though, uh, maybe he does? They all do? They don't remember how they got here, or answering any of the questions in their profiles.
But anyway, he crosses his arms, and decides to get to the heart of it. ]
[ Why are they so defensive? Or is that his interpretation. Satoru's posture sizes up to match.
They really don't remember anything about how they got here, but he can vividly picture how his days changed... Whatever bullshit situation they're in right now, mysterious questionnaire, sudden summoning, doesn't seem to hold a candle to what memories he does have. They can all die tomorrow and its priority would be an afterthought.
He doesn't take another step, for what reason he isn't sure and won't be parsing or unpacking. ]
You left.
[ Cutting, straight-forward, but without malice despite the grain in his tone. Less vitriol than earlier, down to a simmer with some bite or is it hurt? It's full of questioning despite knowing he won't get an answer.
Maybe the strategy here is to not tell. Maybe the strategy is to stay silent. If he was strong enough to change the trajectory of everything, then maybe he would have thought long-term, but he hasn't had the time or preparation for this. All he has is emotion, raw and fresh. ]
[ His eyes widen, two words leaving him momentarily stunned in breathless surprise.
He left. And would that make Satoru so angry? They're a team, but they haven't been for months now, and if he really couldn't take it anymore, and quit sorcery, would Satoru begrudge him to such an extent? ]
I don't remember that. [ But. ] But is that so bad? Tsukumo Yuki— [ A pause, and then a breath. ] She doesn't work as a sorcerer either. It happens.
[ He had thought about it, when she visited. Maybe he could leave, work as a researcher, and figure out a way to treat the disease and not the symptoms, just like she had said.
But she'd been working for years. Years of sorcerers dying because they were up against curses far above their level. The community was already short one Special Grade, if he left... ]
Suguru gives him such a normal answer, one he would have dreamed about even though in reality he would have playfully criticized him for his choice. Why should the strongest waste their time on research?
... It's a dream now and clarity hits him like a truck—maybe he should try to navigate this. Groaning loudly, he starts tousling his hair in a frenzy. What is he supposed to do? ]
Ahhhhh! This is so stupid!! [ The ruffling comes to an end. His mouth opens, words about to spew, but he finds them lodged in his throat. You can't tell someone who hasn't left to come back. ] You're here, right?! You're Geto Suguru! Bangs!
[ How else can he confirm? Follow his heart? His soul says the figure in front of him is the one and the same. Is that enough? ]
[ It's disorienting to see Satoru look so unsure, and it kind of hurts to see him doubt who he is. There's a loneliness that settles back into his chest; the kind that he couldn't stop feeling lately. It's just the two of them here, but that isn't enough to put things back where they're supposed to be.
What is he supposed to say, when he doesn't even fully understand what Satoru is grappling with? ]
Satoru.
[ His arms fall back to his sides from where he'd had them crossed over his chest, also wishing this stupid robe had pockets. ]
[ His eyes narrow when he's called, scanning Suguru for the nth time—he hasn't stopped scanning him over and over, truthfully. He heard that voice call his name all the time before, then not too long ago, now it plagues him. The question that follows has his lips press into a finer line, hiding gritted teeth.
How is a miserable question so grating? ]
I do.
[ It only takes a couple of strides before he's right in front of him, eyes still locked onto Suguru's. He grabs his wrist tightly, thumb pressed against his pulse as if rhythm alone can confirm his best friend's identity. The shape of him will have to be enough.
Grumbling, he looks off to the side... ]
We're the strongest, so it'll be extremely annoying for me if you bailed. Just don't, got it? Or I'll beat you up and tear through your research papers.
[ The threat has little heat, but the core of it all is sincere. ]
[ His pulse is the same as always under his skin, and even if it's a little weird, he just lets Satoru do what he needs. It's confusing enough for him to longer be able to sense cursed energy, so he can't imagine what it must be like for Satoru to be without the power that shaped his identity and how he moves in the world.
Not that Suguru needs cursed energy or the Six Eyes to know that he's still missing something. The explanation isn't enough to account for all of Satoru's agitation and anger, but he doesn't want to know—doesn't want to push it. He just wants it to be the two of them, on a mission the way it used to be before everything changed. Why should he be held accountable for something he has no memory of ever happening anyway?
(It does make him feel guilty though, a little. Like he's invalidating Satoru's feelings, and manipulating his best friend into acting like nothing has changed. Like Satoru isn't the strongest on his own now, and Suguru is left barely caring enough to catch up.)
He smiles, bumping their shoulders together. ]
I'll think about it. [ But anyway, ] None of that is going to matter if we don't figure out what's going on here though. We should look around.
[ He is just another guy and he'll have to wrestle with that another time.
Satoru keeps a staunch hold on Suguru's wrist and the reassurance only coaxes another squeeze out of his grip. His stiff shoulders slacken, demeanor coming to a cool, and his expression less grim. The edges of his lips don't quirk into a smile to match, even though they share the same desire. It's a crumb, but a crumb he'll settle for until he figures out how to equip himself to handle this delicately.
Back then, he didn't see them differently. They were still best friends when they went on missions together, when they didn't, and even in the crowd... With Suguru's back facing him. Now is the same, whether they're plagued with forgotten memories or weird magic in play.
In his heart, nothing has changed. ]
Your fake Buddha smile and the way you go about explaining stuff are annoying, too. [ With his free hand, he whacks Suguru's offending shoulder. ] Instead of thinking about stuff so much, you should say it how it is.
[ So many words, sometimes not enough words. Satoru would excuse Suguru being passive-aggressive, though. As long as it's funny. Slowly, he lets him go. ]
What did you want to look at? Is there anything worth looking at except for an exit?
[ His smile steadily takes on an irritated edge when Satoru continues on with his unsolicited criticism, ] Okay.
[ But he doesn't retaliate. Even if it would be easy to jab him in the ribs right now...
He takes the high road, and opts to focus. ]
Supplies. Even if we can just walk out of here, which we probably can't, we won't get far without food and water. [ Glances at the buildings. ] Let's check out what's available, and then we can see if there's a way out.
[ He knows... HE KNOWS Satoru is telling him not to overthink and spiral, and to talk to him, and ask for help, but also he doesn't want to ask for help because he's stupid.
It's easier to ignore it, just for now. ]
That's good. Lets look in the buildings and then check the perimeter.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Resentment paints him in opaque streaks and desperately overshadows the sorrow, but his expression smooths over when he has some handle of himself. There's still questioning, unease, and everything else he subconsciously masks, but he doesn't take it out on Suguru again. Instead, he kicks the floor with his stupid white flats and finally averts his gaze. This didn't make him feel any better... And now Suguru ends their conversation ever so easily, much like before, leaving him without anything to say.
It never stopped him, but the growing pit in his stomach is gross and he doesn't feel like talking for the moment. The silence stretches, interrupted by Satoru periodically kicking the dirt like these haunted grounds are deserving of every single curse.
Suguru is free to leave him!! Except, unfortunately, Satoru will trail after him without care to be discreet. ]
no subject
The problem is that he doesn't know why he's so angry—maybe angrier than he's ever seen, at least directed at him—and for some reason thinking about it just leaves him with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Like he doesn't want to know.
So he doesn't bring it up. Instead, he walks over to the board with all their profiles, and looks through them. ]
It looks like we're the only ones here from Jujutsu Tech.
[ He can usually trust Satoru to focus up on a mission, even if he's mad. ]
no subject
He's using so many braincells to understand what this situation is—what they are... Suguru answers for them and it stirs unrest, despite how comforting it is. It pisses him off for some reason. ]
Yeah... I don't feel or see cursed energy.
[ And that's even more unnerving, but put aside because of Suguru's existence. ]
There's something up with this place.
no subject
Unfortunately, Suguru is not as soft as me. He thinks that's the most unsettling part of it—the fact that he can't, for the first time in years, feel the amalgamation of all the cursed energy stored inside him, and that all he gets of Satoru is what he can see and hear, because he can no longer feel the cursed energy that he'd grown so accustomed to.
It's weird, and kind of scary because he's defenseless, but also...
Well, he's more concerned about Satoru, glancing over at him thoughtfully. ]
It's the same with me. I can't summon any of my curses either.
[ So it's not just that they're senses are dulled, but their powers are entirely halted. ]
Have you heard of any curse that could do something like this?
no subject
[ Satoru has never been... Unlike himself, in this way, without the very thing that defines him, but it's in the back of his mind especially when Suguru looks at him like that. It threatens his heart to stop beating, veins to go icy cold, and his shoulders square in defense. He's steeled, for what? He doesn't know.
His footsteps come to a halt and they're back to the problem. ]
Suguru.
no subject
Something that could erase Limitless and the Six Eyes like it was nothing?
It's probably stupid that he's less anxious over that than whatever is making things so weird between the two of them. ]
Satoru.
[ He pauses, looking back at him. He has to wonder what the world looks like to Satoru, seeing it without the Six Eyes for the first time. ]
no subject
Is this how regular everyday people see the world? There's so much they don't understand, but he supposes that he doesn't understand Suguru right now. There's an additional pause despite the wide stance, double-checking his sight. Nothing. ]
What's up with you?
[ Says the guy that kicked someone down and kicked them while they were down... Just overall, the actual problem and the one acting up. However, there's something wrong with Suguru, not him. ]
no subject
He shifts, uncomfortable. ]
I should be the one asking you that. You're acting like I'm the one who got us stuck here.
[ And even then, would Satoru be that furious with him? ]
no subject
[ Suguru could have gotten them stuck in the very pits of the unforgivable afterlife and Satoru would have accepted it with some complaints—he would have followed him to those depths if he held a hand out to him. Ultimately, it wouldn't coax anger of this level from him. They both know that and it only cements the swelling uncertainty.
The distance in between has no name, no label, but Satoru won't suffer to live quietly like this. Despite that, they stand far apart... And he doesn't close the gap. ]
You're acting like nothing happened.
no subject
[ If Satoru was upset before they arrived here, he would've noticed. Mostly because he rarely makes any effort to hide his tantrums, and secondly because Suguru's gotten pretty good at picking up on his moods.
At least he had. It never really felt like things settled back into normalcy after Satoru killed Toji.
His brows furrow, making a guess, even though he's pretty sure that he's wrong. ]
Is this about Haibara?
no subject
[ Buzzer noise, wrong, and maybe his words sting.
Haibara and Nanami were assigned a mission that should have been at their level, only for it to be anything but the case... He remembers the day Haibara passed, the look on Nanami's face the next day as the only second year left, and some passing word, but this is the life of jujutsu sorcerers. It has happened before, it may happen again. There's no rage, instead a newfound frustration. Below him at the peak of society, how equipped is everyone else to run this unending marathon?
Especially the man in front of him, looking a bit misplaced yet... Not quite lost. Satoru isn't sure. The distance between, he broaches it with a step. ]
So you hit your head so hard and got amnesia or something. I thought that's impossible with how thick your skull is.
[ Says a man with a thicker skull. ]
You're serious?
no subject
But how long will he keep using that excuse? He can't keep watching sorcerers die, put up his hands, and say there's nothing I can do when there is something—
He exhales, still frowning, but not budging from his spot. ]
I don't have amnesia. [ Though, uh, maybe he does? They all do? They don't remember how they got here, or answering any of the questions in their profiles.
But anyway, he crosses his arms, and decides to get to the heart of it. ]
What am I forgetting? What are you so mad about?
no subject
They really don't remember anything about how they got here, but he can vividly picture how his days changed... Whatever bullshit situation they're in right now, mysterious questionnaire, sudden summoning, doesn't seem to hold a candle to what memories he does have. They can all die tomorrow and its priority would be an afterthought.
He doesn't take another step, for what reason he isn't sure and won't be parsing or unpacking. ]
You left.
[ Cutting, straight-forward, but without malice despite the grain in his tone. Less vitriol than earlier, down to a simmer with some bite or is it hurt? It's full of questioning despite knowing he won't get an answer.
Maybe the strategy here is to not tell. Maybe the strategy is to stay silent. If he was strong enough to change the trajectory of everything, then maybe he would have thought long-term, but he hasn't had the time or preparation for this. All he has is emotion, raw and fresh. ]
no subject
He left. And would that make Satoru so angry? They're a team, but they haven't been for months now, and if he really couldn't take it anymore, and quit sorcery, would Satoru begrudge him to such an extent? ]
I don't remember that. [ But. ] But is that so bad? Tsukumo Yuki— [ A pause, and then a breath. ] She doesn't work as a sorcerer either. It happens.
[ He had thought about it, when she visited. Maybe he could leave, work as a researcher, and figure out a way to treat the disease and not the symptoms, just like she had said.
But she'd been working for years. Years of sorcerers dying because they were up against curses far above their level. The community was already short one Special Grade, if he left... ]
no subject
Suguru gives him such a normal answer, one he would have dreamed about even though in reality he would have playfully criticized him for his choice. Why should the strongest waste their time on research?
... It's a dream now and clarity hits him like a truck—maybe he should try to navigate this. Groaning loudly, he starts tousling his hair in a frenzy. What is he supposed to do? ]
Ahhhhh! This is so stupid!! [ The ruffling comes to an end. His mouth opens, words about to spew, but he finds them lodged in his throat. You can't tell someone who hasn't left to come back. ] You're here, right?! You're Geto Suguru! Bangs!
[ How else can he confirm? Follow his heart? His soul says the figure in front of him is the one and the same. Is that enough? ]
no subject
What is he supposed to say, when he doesn't even fully understand what Satoru is grappling with? ]
Satoru.
[ His arms fall back to his sides from where he'd had them crossed over his chest, also wishing this stupid robe had pockets. ]
Don't you know me?
no subject
How is a miserable question so grating? ]
I do.
[ It only takes a couple of strides before he's right in front of him, eyes still locked onto Suguru's. He grabs his wrist tightly, thumb pressed against his pulse as if rhythm alone can confirm his best friend's identity. The shape of him will have to be enough.
Grumbling, he looks off to the side... ]
We're the strongest, so it'll be extremely annoying for me if you bailed. Just don't, got it? Or I'll beat you up and tear through your research papers.
[ The threat has little heat, but the core of it all is sincere. ]
no subject
Not that Suguru needs cursed energy or the Six Eyes to know that he's still missing something. The explanation isn't enough to account for all of Satoru's agitation and anger, but he doesn't want to know—doesn't want to push it. He just wants it to be the two of them, on a mission the way it used to be before everything changed. Why should he be held accountable for something he has no memory of ever happening anyway?
(It does make him feel guilty though, a little. Like he's invalidating Satoru's feelings, and manipulating his best friend into acting like nothing has changed. Like Satoru isn't the strongest on his own now, and Suguru is left barely caring enough to catch up.)
He smiles, bumping their shoulders together. ]
I'll think about it. [ But anyway, ] None of that is going to matter if we don't figure out what's going on here though. We should look around.
no subject
Satoru keeps a staunch hold on Suguru's wrist and the reassurance only coaxes another squeeze out of his grip. His stiff shoulders slacken, demeanor coming to a cool, and his expression less grim. The edges of his lips don't quirk into a smile to match, even though they share the same desire. It's a crumb, but a crumb he'll settle for until he figures out how to equip himself to handle this delicately.
Back then, he didn't see them differently. They were still best friends when they went on missions together, when they didn't, and even in the crowd... With Suguru's back facing him. Now is the same, whether they're plagued with forgotten memories or weird magic in play.
In his heart, nothing has changed. ]
Your fake Buddha smile and the way you go about explaining stuff are annoying, too. [ With his free hand, he whacks Suguru's offending shoulder. ] Instead of thinking about stuff so much, you should say it how it is.
[ So many words, sometimes not enough words. Satoru would excuse Suguru being passive-aggressive, though. As long as it's funny. Slowly, he lets him go. ]
What did you want to look at? Is there anything worth looking at except for an exit?
no subject
[ But he doesn't retaliate. Even if it would be easy to jab him in the ribs right now...
He takes the high road, and opts to focus. ]
Supplies. Even if we can just walk out of here, which we probably can't, we won't get far without food and water. [ Glances at the buildings. ] Let's check out what's available, and then we can see if there's a way out.
no subject
Anyway, he does deserve to be jabbed in the ribs. ]
I heard some running water somewhere, so at least that should be one water source if we're lucky.
no subject
It's easier to ignore it, just for now. ]
That's good. Lets look in the buildings and then check the perimeter.
[ Off they go!! ]
no subject
[ He points in the distance and just makes an assumption it's haunted. Often everywhere they go is haunted.
Going to skip ahead, though after a couple of skips he checks that Suguru is following him. ]
no subject
He is following along, and tilts his head curiously when Satoru checks on him. ]
What is it?
no subject
[ Smiles (shitty). ]
(no subject)
2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)